I'm scared
by Gleek890
Summary: Kendall is openly gay. James is secretly gay. Kendall read James' diary and knows that James likes him. So when Kendall goes in for a kiss why does James push him away? ONE-SHOT!


James sat on his bed with a magazine in his hands, his head against the headboard, his legs stretched out and his ankles crossed. Kendall walked in his and James' shared bedroom with a small smile.

"Hey." Kendall spoke. He closed the door quietly. A few days ago Kendall peeked at James' diary. He read that James has a crush on him but is scared to make the first move because he's never liked a guy before. He's afraid of the thought of likeing guys. Well James is in luck because Kendall is openly gay, likes him too and Kendall is not afraid to make the first move.

James looked up from his magazine and smiled slightly.

"Oh hey Kendall." James said before looking back at his magazine. Kendall sat next to James on the bed. Kendall kept quiet so he would not disturb James. Keeping his head toward the magazine, James kept eyeing Kendall slightly because the silence was a little awkward. After the silence became too much for James to bear, he looked from his magazine and looked at Kendall. Kendall's head was slightly turned away from James and he was staring off into space as if in deep thought.

"Hey. You ok? You look like your thinking hard about something." James questioned.

"Oh. No...I'm fine..." Kendall lied.

"Now I know your lying. Whatcha thinking about?" James asked crossing his legs. Kendall looked down slightly.

"No it's...its stupid, it's nothing." Kendall spoke.

"If it's got you this deep in thought it s obviously not stupid." James said. He placed the magazine on the table next to his bed and turned back to Kendall. Kendall didn't move his head from its downward position.

"I just...I..." Kendall leaned up and looked at James. Kendall changed his sitting position. He moved to where he was sitting directly in front of James. Slowly Kendall started to lean closer to James.

"K-Kendall...wha-what are you doing?" James asked kind of nervously as he started to lean away from Kendall. Kendall kept leaning closer and closer not caring that James was leaning away.

"Kendall I'm...I'm not gay...I'm...I'm s-straight." James stuttered a little frightened.

"James...just let it happen...please..." Kendall whispered. James started to panic. He couldn't lean away anymore, he was trapped. He started to feel tears in his eyes, he didn't want this to happen. He's not gay, well, he thinks he straight and he's afraid if he kisses Kendall that'll change everything. So in other terms, he thinks he may like the kiss and that scared him. James closed his eyes tight as an attempt to keep his tears in.

"Jamie...it's okay." Kendall whispered. He rubbed his thumb over James' cheek. James slowly opened his eyes as a stray tear fell down his face.

"Hey now, don't cry." Kendall said, his voice sounding soft as he swiped James' tear away. When they were only centimeters apart, Kendall decided to close the gap between them. The kiss lasted around 2 seconds, and if you re wondering...no...James did not kiss back. Kendall pulled away and looked into James' eyes.

"Ya know...if you kiss back...you may realize you like the kiss." Kendall spoke. Kendall decided to try again. So he leaned in and kissed James again. This kiss lasting longer. James didn't completely kiss back but he didn't remain completely still like he did during the first kiss. Kendall slowly moved his hand up James' shirt. James winced at the sudden contact and pushed Kendall away slightly. Kendall looked into James' eyes.

"It's okay James." Kendall spoke quietly before leaning back in and moving his hand back up James' shirt. This time James just let it happen. Kendall moved his hand up to James' heart. The beat was slightly faster than normal. James pulled away and Kendall took his hand out of James' shirt.

"James, be honest...do you like this? Do you like kissing me...a guy?" Kendall asked.

"Yes." James spoke barely above a whisper.

"Then why are you pushing me away?" Kendall wondered. James looked down and started crying again. Kendall leaned his chin up and made James look at him.

"No need to cry James. It's just a question." Kendall said his voice sounding soft, sincere, and very kind.

"I just...I like you Kendall. Alot. I'm just scared; you're the first guy I have ever had romantic feelings for. I'm scared of admitting I like guys. And I don't know what to do. I don't wanna mess up our friendship, I'm just so lost and so scared and..." Kendall cut James off.

"Honey. I'm here for you. I promise. I like you too. And yes admitting who you are can sometimes be a scary thing, I get that. But you have to learn to admit it to yourself first. If you agree to be my boyfriend I will be there for you every step of the way. Trust me, I've been through this so please, let me help you." Kendall spoke not taking his eyes away from James. A smile grew on James' lips and James nodded.

"I would love to be your boyfriend." James smiled. Kendall wrapped his arms around James in a tight hug.

"Thank you so much. You don't know how long I've wanted this." Kendall smiled into James' shoulder.

"Your welcome, but Kendall? Can...Can we take it slow for now please, ya know let me get used to being in a relationship with a guy?" James asked.

"Of course James." Kendall smiled. James moved from the hug and laid down on the bed slightly on his side with his arms open, motioning for Kendall to come cuddle up next to him. Kendall chuckled lightly and moved to lay next to James, with his head on James' chest. James wrapped his arms around Kendall tightly never wanting to let go. James moved his hand up to Kendall's face and brushed some of the hair out of his eyes. The two boys kissed again, this time, James was the one who initiated the kiss. James is glad he could come out to Kendall and he's glad Kendall likes him the same way he likes him. Slowly the two boys fell asleep wrapped in each other s embrace.


End file.
